Meeting Phoebe Cates: Kevin Kline's First Memory From Set
- 01. How Kevin Kline Met Phoebe Cates: The Definitive Story
- 02. The Fateful 1982 Audition Encounter
- 03. How Their Relationship Actually Began Two Years Later
- 04. Statistical Timeline of Their Relationship Milestones
- 05. Why Their Marriage Endured While Others Failed
- 06. Kline's Reflections on Their Age Gap Choice
- 07. The Big Chill's Role in Hollywood History
- 08. Their Private New York Life Post-Hollywood
How Kevin Kline Met Phoebe Cates: The Definitive Story
Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates first met in 1982 at an audition for the groundbreaking ensemble film The Big Chill, where the 39-year-old classically trained theater actor crossed paths with the 18-year-old rising star fresh off Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Although Cates didn't land the role she auditioned for, Kline was cast and the meeting sparked a connection that led to dating in 1985 after they reconnected at New York's Public Theater, culminating in their marriage in 1989 that has enduringly lasted over 35 years.
The Fateful 1982 Audition Encounter
The initial meeting occurred during a read-through session for Lawrence Kasdan's acclaimed comedy-drama The Big Chill in 1982, a pivotal moment in both actors' careers. Kline had recently transitioned from stage to screen with his Oscar-nominated debut in Sophie's Choice, establishing himself as a serious dramatic actor. Cates, who had become an iconic teen sex symbol at age 17 when Fast Times at Ridgemont High premiered in August 1982, was attempting to expand her range beyond youthful roles.
The audition room brought together actors from vastly different career stages. Kline, born October 24, 1947, was a Juilliard-trained thespian with 16 years' seniority over Cates, born July 19, 1963. Despite the age gap and their different backgrounds-she a model-turned-actress from New York, he a Midwestern theater veteran-they shared a moment that neither forgot.
How Their Relationship Actually Began Two Years Later
Despite meeting in 1982, the couple didn't start dating until 1985, when their paths crossed again at New York City's Public Theater. Kline was directing and performing in Shakespeare's Henry V in 1984 while Cates was working on a separate production at the same venue. This second encounter convinced Kline to pursue a relationship with someone he initially thought was too enthusiastic for him.
Kline took decisive romantic action by hiring Cates' former assistant and specifically tasked her with arranging a first date setup between himself and the actress. This deliberate approach to courtship reflected Kline's serious intentions, despite his reservations about their compatibility. According to Entertainment Weekly, Kline confessed, \"When I first met Phoebe, I remember thinking, 'She's too happy to be with me. She's too enthusiastic about life.... What'll we talk about?'\".
- 1982: First meet at The Big Chill audition in Los Angeles
- 1984: Second encounter at New York Public Theater during Henry V production
- 1985: Kline arranges first date through Cates' former assistant; romantic relationship begins
- 1989: Couple marries in intimate New York wedding when Cates was 25 and Kline was 41
- 1991: Son Owen Josephus Kline born
- 1994: Daughter Greta Simone Kline born
Statistical Timeline of Their Relationship Milestones
| Event | Date | Cates Age | Kline Age | Location |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| First meeting | 1982 (read-through) | 18-19 | 34-35 | Los Angeles, CA |
| Second encounter | 1984 | 20-21 | 36-37 | New York, NY |
| Dating begins | 1985 | 21-22 | 37-38 | New York, NY |
| Marriage | 1989 | 25 | 41 | New York, NY |
| Owen's birth | September 1991 | 28 | 44 | New York, NY |
| Greta's birth | May 1994 | 30 | 46 | New York, NY |
| 35th anniversary | October 2024 | 61 | 77 | New York, NY |
Why Their Marriage Endured While Others Failed
The couple attributes their 35-year marriage success to deliberately avoiding Hollywood's culture entirely. Kline explicitly stated their secret is \"not having a Hollywood marriage\" by living in New York instead of Los Angeles, approximately 2,450 miles from Tinseltown. In a 2024 interview, Kline remarked, \"If your marriage lasts more than six months, you're already in the Guinness Book of World Records, if you're a Hollywood marriage\".
Cates made the significant decision to quit acting in 1995 at age 31, stepping away from a successful career to focus on family and eventually opening Bluebird Hotel and Blue Rice restaurant in Greenwich Village. This rejection of the film industry contrasted sharply with Kline, who continued acting while maintaining a balanced schedule. The couple raises their two children outside Hollywood's spotlight, with daughter Francine \"Frankie\" Kline (Greta) becoming a musician known as Frankie Cosmos.
Kline's Reflections on Their Age Gap Choice
In a 2014 The Guardian interview, Kline revealed profound regret about timing, stating: \"I was 40-ish when I finally stopped obsessing about acting ... and actually got married. If I had married someone my own age, the possibility of progeny would have been very slim\". This age difference advantage meant that when Kline married a younger woman, he still had time to father two children, something that would've been statistically unlikely with a same-age partner.
Cates initially thought Kline was gay when they first met at the audition, adding an unexpected chapter to their origin story. Despite this early misunderstanding and Kline's self-doubt about their compatibility, the couple found abundant common ground during their first date that convinced both to pursue the relationship. Their ability to communicate effectively became the foundation for decades of partnership.
The Big Chill's Role in Hollywood History
The Big Chill, released in 1983, became a cultural phenomenon that launched or revitalized multiple careers beyond Kline's casting. The ensemble cast included Tom Berenger, Jeff Goldblum, Glenn Close, William Hurt, Mary Kay Place, and Meg Tilly, making it the ultimate 1980s reunion film. While Cates missed out on this career-defining role, meeting Kline at that audition proved more consequential than any single part could've been.
Kline's performance as Harold Cooper became one of his most iconic film roles, showcasing his ability to balance warmth with authority. The film's exploration of Baby Boomer disillusionment resonated with audiences, earning three Academy Award nominations including Best Picture. Ironically, Cates' breakthrough came in the same year with Fast Times, though the two films represented opposite ends of the cinematic spectrum-one cerebral ensemble drama, the other raunchy teen comedy.
- Live outside Los Angeles: They chose New York City, maintaining distance from Hollywood industry pressures
- Split work schedules: Cates retired from acting while Kline selectiveizes projects, avoiding constant media scrutiny
- Private parenting: Children raised with minimal paparazzi exposure, shielded from celebrity culture
- Shared values: Both prioritize family time,バランス, and authentic relationships over career advancement
Their Private New York Life Post-Hollywood
Today, at ages 77 and 61 respectively, Kline and Cates maintain an extraordinarily low-profile existence in Manhattan's Greenwich Village. Kline recently starred in the 2024 Apple TV+ series Disclaimer, proving his artistic vitality continues, while Cates focuses on her hospitality business ventures. Their son Owen Kline became a filmmaker, directing the acclaimed horror-comedy Night of the Wild, while Frankie Cosmos (Greta Kline) has released multiple indie albums.
The couple's journey from a chance audition meeting in 1982 to a 35+ year marriage represents Hollywood's rare success story against statistical odds. With Hollywood marriages averaging less than six months, their longevity itself becomes a remarkable achievement. Their story demonstrates that sometimes the most important roles aren't the ones we audition for, but the relationships we build afterward.
Helpful tips and tricks for Meeting Phoebe Cates Kevin Klines First Memory From Set
Did Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates get the same role at The Big Chill audition?
No, Kline was cast as Harold Cooper while Cates wasn't selected for any role in the final The Big Chill cast; however, this rejected audition became the romantic origin story for Hollywood's most enduring marriages.
How long did Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates date before marriage?
They dated for approximately four years from 1985 to 1989 before marrying in 1989, after meeting two years earlier in 1982 at The Big Chill audition.
What is the age difference between Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates?
Kevin Kline is 16 years older than Phoebe Cates-Kline was born in 1947 and Cates in 1963, making him 41 and her 25 when they married in 1989.
Where did Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates get married?
They married in a New York City wedding in 1989, remaining in the city rather than relocating to Los Angeles for their ceremony.
Do Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates still live together?
Yes, the couple continues to live together in Greenwich Village, New York City, maintaining their private life far from Hollywood's spotlight.
How many children do Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates have?
They have two children: son Owen Josephus Kline (born September 1991) and daughter Greta Simone Kline/Frankie Cosmos (born May 1994).